For years I have been struggling with social anxiety, and I still do sometimes. I always felt a pressure when I was in social environments like school or party’s. I thought that there was something wrong with me, that I was an outcast or a loser. But now I realize that this pressure I felt in my body is a self-defense mechanism. A self-defense mechanism for environments that feel mentally dangerous or uncomfortable. It is because the people might not resonate with me, and that they are on a different frequency. They do not share the same ideas or they are not that open to new things yet. I realized that I had outgrown certain situations, and that I am probably growing more conscious than my environment.
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” – Carl Jung
New Life vs. Old Life
This is a big breakthrough for me. It is the thing that has been holding me back for a very long time. It is hopeful, because now I know that there will be new environments and new people on my path. People that do resonate with me, that share the same interests and passions. It’s not that these other people are doing something wrong, but they might not be where you are in your journey.
You might be going through a phase where your old life (drinking, going out, striving for money or status, having a busy lifestyle, being hard on yourself) is slowly shifting towards your new life (creativity, mindfulness, peaceful activities, slow living, being healthy). This can be a hard time, because it can sometimes collide with each other. You are making changes to your life, and it might be difficult because your environment and the people you meet still go for the old life.
“Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.” – Eckhart Tolle
But as long as you stick to that feeling, that inner presence inside you, and protect yourself by doing peaceful activities, taking rest when needed and searching for stillness instead of chaos, you can get through it. Many times you need to turn things around. Instead of seeing social anxiety as the problem, see it as a signal that you are going to find new people and new environments which you feel inspired by and are giving you energy. If you have mental health problems, see it as a sign that the busy lifestyle is not for you, and that you are slowly shifting to a more peaceful life.
Turning reality upside down
I had a psychosis, and instead of seeing myself as sick, I realized that sometimes the way we live is sick. The things that we consume each day, the things we eat, the pressure we can feel from other people to fit in the box, to be a ‘normal’ citizen. The overcomplexity of the tasks that we sometimes need to do from our teachers and bosses can drain us. When you struggle with these kind of problems, you are actually very strong. You are conscious, and sensitive to your environment. Soon you will start to realize how you can turn these problems into hope, into an unfolding path, that is still working in the shadows.
It’s a transformation. Not necessarily from the outside, but within. You discover who you truly are, behind all the layers that you’ve put on yourself everyday. Once you experience this, you stop playing a role. You stop trying to become someone, and simply start being. You can do the things that you always loved, and more. Slowly, you start to let go of that frame you needed to fit in, the social box everyone expects you to be in. Realizing that life is so much more, that there are infinite possibilities. This is a real transformation, that is taking place day by day. It starts small, in short glimpses of inner presence, when you are walking in a forest, or reading an inspiring book. But it grows stronger every time.
“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” – Alan Watts
Most people still rely on the things they can see, hear or touch. But there is a big inner world that can be explored. The key is to create harmony, between your inner and outer world. By bringing the peace, quietness, and creativity you feel on the inside, towards the outside and towards your creations. It requires you to first look deep inside yourself, in this feeling that has slowly become more present. You will start to notice that it guides you. The feeling will be strong when something feels right. And when something does not feel right, you will notice that as well, as if it is itching inside of you.
Taking the Next Step
Besides feeling this presence, the next step is to act on that intuition. To act on the things that feel right. For some, this can be changing your environment and the people you meet. You could be going to a different country, to a place that you feel more connected with. But instead of seeing it as an escape, you see it as an opportunity for you to grow. That there is a place where you feel more comfortable and free. You will know what you need when the time is right. Always take care of your mental and physical health first. Somehow, you will be guided towards the action you need to take.
Through the chaos you can find clarity, through the busyness of the hustle culture, you will discover what you’ve been really longing for. This next step, can completely transform your life. It can change the way you perceive the world, the belief that you have in yourself and others, the way you behave. It can dissolve the old patterns that have not been working for you for a long time. The things that held back your potential for so long. It will enable you to express yourself freely, without fear, without judgement or insecurity. It has all been running in the background. Soon it will all click, it will all come together, and you will see where you are going. You will see the unfolding path, and let yourself be guided by it.
Thanks for reading. Have a miracle day,
Mart Bergsma
Your next read: The Aligned Life
My Youtube Channel: Mart Bergsma
