The Pressure to Conform
Sometimes it is so hard to take a break and think clearly. It happens to me all the time. It’s because we live in such a busy world, and it can become so chaotic that we completely lose ourselves in the event. I have experienced the consequences of being in a rush myself in a very hard way, and I had to take a massive break.
But during that break, it actually felt very peaceful, and I had a lot more time to think with clarity and to focus on what really matters. So my advice would be: Don’t rush your life. Don’t let anybody push you into something you do not want to do. Most of the time nobody is actually pushing you anyway, and it is all in our heads.
You might think that you need to get a degree and work at a corporate job, and that there is no exception to this. Because of that you ignore your own dreams and how you envision your life to be. There is nothing wrong with school or a job, but if you have a desire deep inside to create, and to get more out of life, then you should follow that path.
The Hidden Cost of Rushing
The best things take time, and if you do not give yourself this time, you will end up doing something that you do not like. The problem is that it is so ingrained in our head to go to school and follow a well paying career path. We are afraid to stand up for our own path in front of our parents, teachers, friends and family.
There is always this knack to work on something. If you aren’t doing something, then you are a failure, we think. But there is another way. You need to have the courage to do your own thing, at your own pace. Listen to your intuition. If something does not feel right, then don’t do it. If something feels very exciting, and you have a very strong vision of it, then go after that.
The main reason we would follow a path that we do not stand behind, is because everyone else does something similar too. You feel pressured, because it is seen as the ‘normal’ thing. Many people do not know what other possibilities there are, and therefore can become very skeptical about your ideas.
Overcoming Fear and Shame
But for now, try to ignore that criticism. Deep down you already know what you want to do, and you should go for that. There is no competition between people, we all want the best thing for ourselves and others. You need to do things without permission, and without shame.
Fear and shame is what is holding us back most of the time. It’s the biggest barrier for reaching our dream life. We are afraid what other people will think of us, or that we will fail and that it would be the confirmation of people’s criticism.
But it is your life. You have the power to choose and do what you want. Do not let anybody take away that power, not even people who stand really close to you. Of course most of the time those people will support you, but sometimes they don’t. It does not matter when you act on your own, and do what you really want to do.
Embracing the Unknown
The best things always take time, and you have to give yourself that time. You need to get used to delayed gratification. You should not expect to make money right away. That also means that you throw yourself into the unknown. You don’t know what will happen. But that is what makes it fun and adventurous. You do not have predictable outcomes.
When you choose your own path, you will notice that it is not all about your work. If you take the time for things to develop, you also have more time to do other things that you find enjoyable. It is not about being productive all the time. Sometimes you just want to play and have fun.
Your Life, Your Timeline
The school system has general time frames. But some people need more time to figure out what they want to do. Just like a seed needs time and care to grow into a plant or tree, we need time and care in order to become the person that we want to become.
Stress and anxiety are also generally things to avoid. In some cases a little bit is good, for when we are performing something for example. But our natural state is calm and relaxed. So try to look at the activities where you feel calm and relaxed. Think deeply about the things that you enjoy the most and build upon those things.
Slow Living
Embracing slow living is really vital. Slow living is a conscious lifestyle to slow down, reduce speed and efficiency, and intentionally focus on what truly matters, such as:
- Meaningful connections
- Quality experiences
- Personal wellbeing
This kind of lifestyle is good for yourself, other people, and the environment. If you adopt this lifestyle, it will become much easier to create the life that you want. There are a few things you can do to adopt a slow living lifestyle, such as:
- Living with more attention, mindfulness can help with that
- Focusing on your breath more often
- Monotasking (doing one thing at a time)
- Minimalism (minimal stuff, minimal digital space, less tasks to do)
- Writing or journaling
- Slow hobbies, like making music, creating art
- Spending more time outside in nature
When you stop searching, you find yourself
I used to search for myself in books, videos, podcasts, and a lot of other stuff. I thought that I needed to figure out who I was, and was anxious around other people a lot. And I tried to change that.
But at some moment, I realized that there was nothing to change. These moments of anxiety and stress were all just events, and at some time, I would return to my peace, calmness and clarity.
The moment you realize that all of these moments of unrest are just temporary, and that they will someday disappear again, you become free. So you do not have to search for more confidence, you can just live your life and watch everything unfold in front of you.
I hope you found this article useful. Remember to not rush your life. Take your time and watch your life unfold. You can become anything that you desire.
If you liked this article, check out The No Noise Lifestyle for more
Check out my youtube channel for more about simplicity, creativity and alignment.
Have an amazing day,
Mart Bergsma
